Strengthening relationships with a focus on building trust is as integral to the success of an entrepreneurial business as the services it offers and the clients it serves. Studies indicate that the time and attention given to peer relationships ranks last, if mentioned, in the roster of business priorities. If everything works out and there is never a need to address relationship issues, count yourself lucky. If you put time in up front to ensure that strengthening relationships is on the agenda at the outset, consider yourself smart.
Unfortunately, addressing relationships at the beginning of a venture happens infrequently. Fortunately, business partner or team relationships can be repaired and strengthened at most stages of a business’s evolution. Doing so calls for a structure that will guide conversations, reveal and repair misperceptions, and keep the business on track. It’s a form of ongoing due diligence that you can apply to relationships just as you would in growing your core business.
In my coaching practice with coheads and leadership peers, entrepreneurs, or leaders in new relationships, I have found the following 3 mistakes to be common among even the most successful entrepreneurial teams.
Mistake #1: Rushing into relationships, which results in oversimplifying agreements.
Like most new relationships, entrepreneurs experience a “honeymoon” phase. Assessments of each other are focused on strengths and fueled by a shared commitment to meeting or exceeding the goals of the business. It’s exciting and it “feels right.” Be cautious. Advice I give to entrepreneurs and corporate leaders in a newly formed alliance is: The minute things start to “feel right” early in the relationship, it’s time to take a deeper look at how each other thinks, behaves, and takes action. One of the riskiest outcomes of not taking a deeper look is that decisions are made, and agreements are reached in this “feel good” phase that are vastly oversimplified. Gaps and misunderstandings will eventually emerge from hasty agreements and can slow the positive momentum of the business or, at worst, bring it to a grinding halt, while the leaders work out their misunderstandings (or not).
TO AVOID THIS MISTAKE:
Go deeper. Use an analytical approach to understanding your relationships, just as you would with your business dealings. Specifically:
- Discuss shared expectations. “What are we each gaining from this relationship that will help the business?”
- Extend the conversation within the partnership beyond functional expertise and experience to how you and your partner each think. Are you instinctive, spotting opportunities before they materialize? Or are you deliberate? Does your partner tend to focus on risks before they materialize? Are they oriented to relationships or tasks? Make your answers to these questions a guide for future interactions.
- Talk about how each of you experience and respond to stress. This discussion not only protects the health of the business, but it’s also a map of how to support each other when stress and emotions run high.
Mistake #2: Overlooking the need for structure and contingency planning in managing the partnership.
Adding a communication plan to your partnership may seem unnecessary. You and your partner may feel that if an item comes up which needs the other’s attention, a conversation will occur naturally. However, just as the lack of a planned dialogue about the state of your business can result in unpleasant surprises for you and your stakeholders, the same is true if there is no regular discussion with your partner about the state of your relationship with each other. This gap is a breeding ground for misperceptions about motives that otherwise get overlooked and remain under the surface. This mistake is far reaching – if you have a staff, they will be the first to notice unresolved friction which is unsettling and ultimately affects productivity.
TO AVOID THIS MISTAKE:
Create a structure among the top leaders and give it high priority. Using the information from conversations described above, create a shared plan for structure in strategy and communication. Scheduling meetings between partners as a priority even if there is no urgent issue, can be helpful. Within those meetings, starting with business at hand and keeping a set amount of time for “how’s it going between us?” conversations can address small issues before they grow. This obviates those simmering undercurrents created by lack of trust in each other.
Adapting a structure creates habits in conversing that drive a pattern of dialogue which touches on a broad array of topics. Each person gains information beyond what is typical in fast paced business communication.
You may think that this activity will slow things down just when action is important. However, the opposite is true. Leaders who trust each other can move with more certainty and confidence.
Mistake #3: Not noticing grievances till they become obstacles.
Even with structured communication time, unexpected challenges may occur with each leader questioning the decisions of the other. In time, the relationship starts to shift toward more guarded communication. Often the misunderstandings can be small and unimportant. Yet, differences in style can accumulate over time and erode the trust in the relationship.
Even if both parties continue on a path of cooperation and are outwardly unchanged, the initial spirit of collaboration starts to fade. The dust balls in the corners of the relationship grow. This mistake is common during times where stakes are the highest, such as when considering a public offering or seeking more capital. These may be the exact moments when the “perfect storm” of high stakes tension and distrust meet with grave, unintended consequences.
TO AVOID THIS MISTAKE:
Follow through on supplementing the business meetings with a pattern of being attentive to the psychological and business interests of each partner. Conversations flow differently when there is more understanding between leaders. The signal-to-noise ratio improves. Decision quality strengthens when trust is high.
The tone you and your partner set creates a visible statement of culture and is both powerful and reassuring. When leaders demonstrate receptivity to a channel of communication extending beyond need-to-know, others are likely to follow. These communication practices support a distinctive element of organizational culture.
Acknowledging signs of disagreement and different perceptions with follow up conversations seeking understanding, presents an authentically unified front.
The overall idea is to treat the relationship with your business partner(s) as a high value, high priority resource, more than deserving of a strategy that prevents the grave risks of deterioration.
